5. Tales From the Crypt
This one’s an oldie but a goodie. In each episode, the host of the show known as the “Crypt Keeper” (picture above) guides the audience down a different path, following the lives of random unlucky individuals whose undesirable traits cause their ultimate downfall in the end. In a way, the Crypt Keeper is almost like a holy figure that reminds us to mind our manners and obey our morals unless we want to suffer the consequences. However, he does tend to laugh at the pain of others, so his amusement suggests he’s more of a point-and-laugh kind of ghoul, rather than one who would lend a helping hand. Nevertheless, each tale is different, and each is full of gore, language, nudity, and all of the other points that we pay HBO the extra dollar for. Not to mention, there’s tons of celebrity cameos from stars such as Benicio Del Toro, Demi Moore, Catherine O’Hara, William Forsythe, John Stamos, Patricia Arquette, and many more! Head to Target, guys and ghouls! This show’s so good, you’ll scream.
4. Elvira’s Movie Macabre
Here’s another show with the same sort of style as Tales of the Crypt, only with a much more attractive host. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, shows off her wits and her…well, frankly, fabulous lady parts. On this show, Elvira plays some of her favorite old horror movies and makes fun of the films as they go along. This is all in good fun, because she obviously likes these movies or else she wouldn’t bother watching them, but every horror fan knows that old scary movies can be pretty comedic when you watch them thirty years later. Honestly, some of the old black and white films are hard to get through. That’s where Elvira comes in. She makes watching films like Manos: The Hands of Fate actually bearable, and that’s saying something. Give this gal a chance and I promise you’ll be telling loved ones to have unpleasant dreams in no time.
3. The Walking Dead
There aren’t enough good things I can say about this show. If you haven’t seen it, you’re doing yourself a cruel injustice. The main character, Rick Grimes, leads the audience through a zombie-ridden world, starting from the abandoned hospital, all the way to downtown Atlanta to find his lost family. Waking up from a coma to a zombie apocalypse is bad enough, but waking up to such a scary world alone, unaware if your family is alive or not, proves to be much worse. The acting is magnificent, the cinematography is incredible, and the zombie make up is unbelievable. Adapted from the brilliant Robert Kirman’s graphic novels, The Walking Dead is hands down the best show on regular T.V. right now. Played out like a modern day western, this show takes on a whole new point of view when it comes to zombies: it focuses more on the character development rather than the zombies. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of zombie killing to go around, but the most interesting thing about the show turns out to be how the characters deal with day to day life when the next day isn’t promised.
2. True Blood
I had a really tough time placing the top three shows. Comparing True Blood to The Walking Dead is like comparing apples to oranges. For one thing, True Blood is on HBO, so that means it automatically has a bigger budget for special effects, actors, etc. Plus, it means they can drop the f bomb and show lots of nudity, two things featured in The Walking Dead graphic novels that AMC will have to work around. Despite the debate, True Blood definitely deserves a spot on this list for many reasons. First of all, the creator of the show, Alan Ball, also created Six Feet Under, so that tells you that this is probably going to be worth your time. Secondly, the show is based on the books “Southern Vampire Mysteries” by Charlaine Harris, which is a thrilling series that will make any show trying to adapt the story look good. Academy Award winning actress Anna Paquin plays Sookie Stackhouse, a small town telepath who leads the viewer through the supernatural world with integrity, bravery, and at times comedy. The show isn’t afraid to be serious, but it doesn’t overload you with drama, either. Another great thing about this show is the vampires. For one thing, they don’t sparkle. They also don’t go out in the day time, eat food, drink anything but blood, and when they bite someone, it’s bloody, like it should be. Whether you’re looking for something scary, sexy, sad, or sarcastic, True Blood is a show you’ll be able to sink your fangs into.
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
To me, this show has to be number one because it has influenced so many other shows in the horror genre. There would be no True Blood without Buffy. I would even go so far as to argue that Sookie Stackhouse is just an adaptation of Buffy, but that’s an argument for another time. What you need to know now is that Sarah Michelle Gellar is one kick ass babe. Joss Whedon did females everywhere a favor when he introduced Buffy to the world, because he showed women that we can be tough too. Buffy Summers is your average sixteen year old girl–interested in boys, her hair, and…slaying vampires? That’s right, to each generation, a slayer is born, to protect all of our puny butts from the demons that walk the streets (or rather the graveyard) at night, and the 1990s belong to Buffy. Super strong, super fast, and super witty, Buffy Summers will kick your butt up and down the street, and she won’t even mess up her hair doing it. Helped by her scooby gang Willow and Xander, and her watcher Giles, Buffy takes down the evil in Sunnydale, California, one case at a time. Whether she’s fighting human-sized insects or century old vampires, Buffy doesn’t go down without a fight, and even when she does, she always gets back up. After all of the female victims I’ve seen slaughtered in scary movies, it’s nice to see a girl fight back, and win.
Photos courtesy of http://www.amctv.com/shows/the-walking-dead